Filed under: Real Life | Tags: equal rights, gay, hate, heterosexual, homosexual, junkyard dogs, lesbian, love, marriage, straight, the moment I knew, Well whats so great about Heaven anyway?
I get this question a lot, “When did you first know you were straight?”
And I remember a story from my childhood that I think really explains that moment very well. Now I don’t entirely remember this story as a memory, because I was pretty young but in my heart of hearts, I think this was the moment that I KNEW. My mother tells this story better than me but I’ll channel her over the– (how many miles is it again, Mama?)–and do my best.
I was little, I’m going to say three or four and I was in an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting with my mother, not attending but more so just being a baby and being with my Mom (although the joke will always been I’ve been in AA all my life). And I was leaning against my mother while we listened to someone speak of their time. I had a pacifier in my mouth which was actually prescribed by a dentist because I had a Caveman under bite that would make an Orge laugh. Don’t get me wrong I was cute but damn, that under bite is hilarious in pictures. So I’m sucking on my pacifier and having myself a good ole time with my blanket, when a black man walks into the meeting and takes a seat a bit ways from where we were sitting.
My mother says, as she imitates my motions, that I sat up quickly and popped my binky (pacifier) out of my mouth. She said I was very calm but wouldn’t take my eyes off him. And I just wiggled out of her grip, and shimmied right off the bench we had been vacating. She said I just kept staring at him as I said, “I’m going to go sit over there.”
“Where?”
“Over there.”
“Where?”
“By that man!”
“By who?!”
“By that black man! I’m going to sit over there.”
And so I did. I sat next to him the whole meeting with my hands folded and just staring up at him. He probably thought I was the silliest thing. I was hardly a subtle child but I like to this that maybe this was my first crush.
I think I also knew the moment I saw Shawn Michaels wrestle on WWF. He was much older than me but his playful smile won my heart. There was a long time where I secretly had plans to become a professional wrestler just to meet him.
And I knew I was straight when a boy first told me he like-liked me too and I thought, surely, this is the moment where my heart will deflate from relief. He has really pretty blue eyes I couldn’t look at without blushing and I always did my best to secretly always take the seat next to him. And I knew it when that same boy hurt me with disappointment in his actions (BRINGING CIGARETTES TO SCHOOL IN THE THIRD GRADE?! YOU KIDDING ME?).
I knew I was straight when I kissed a girl and just thought…meh.
And I knew when, I was terrified, knowing I could love a boy and they can so easily hurt me. How dare they have that power, who do they think they are?
And I knew it wasn’t wrong because everyone told me it was right. I loved the “right way”. Barbie and Ken smiled up at me from their dream home in Malibu and waved from their straight loving hot tub (now with bubbling action!). And I always questioned what was the “wrong way”?
I knew I was straight when I learned what it meant to be gay.
“Rose and Susan. They aren’t just friends.” My cousin explained to me as we played in the bath tub. I had just been taught what a period was and now I was learning the relationship between my father’s next door neighbors. My cousin whispered, “They are like boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“But they are two girls?” I asked in a confused tone.
“Yeah but they are together like that, like a boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Oh.” And then it clicked. I understood. And it made sense why they held hands, “Oh okay.” I nodded and whispered and I wondered why we had to whisper this. And I didn’t think it was bad, I just didn’t realize that existed. And I accepted it into my small childhood bubble of things that are in the world.
And it was church that told me otherwise but I just could not believe it. I mean first, telling me all of my pets would never go to Heaven and then telling me that my dad’s nice neighbors were abominations? Listen, maybe I could take not having my pets in Heaven but Rose and Susan are good people. And I liked their chocolate lab named Bailey who would frequently come visit neighbors just to saw hi and get a treat. And I like the little dock they had off their yard that they let us kids play on. And they don’t get to go to Heaven? Well whats so great about Heaven anyway?
I was happy to find my mother really understood me and my heterosexuality. I was happy to know she didn’t blame herself for my heterosexuality and that it wasn’t a choice but that I was born this way. And she really got to know all of my boyfriends and made them feel welcomed.
Honestly. I don’t get it. I don’t understand or get it. How can you just let your child go out to the wolves and not care? How can you stand and say someone is not allowed to love the person they love? I don’t care who said it was wrong, who said that person is right? Why are we treating others differently? This is my rant part. This is where I get mad. This is where I say there are no second class citizens and we should stop treating others like it. People should marry the person they love and they should also be allowed to Divorce the person they do not love anymore. Life is so short. It is so goddamn short.
Why are we so worried about such unimportant things. Go read a book and smile and laugh and look how infinite the sky seems and how tiny you really are. It is so fleeting and people are snarling at each other like packs of starving junkyard dogs. How does it effect you how that person loves another person? Go paint a picture and wear socks that don’t match and try and memorize the feeling of sand between your toes. Live your life and don’t hinder others. It doesn’t effect you. Your children can so easily leave you, who cares who they love, doesn’t it only matter how you love them? Your children are a gift, not something for you to shape and mold however you like, to use and abuse and then toss aside with they are the round peg that won’t fit in your square hole. Draw a picture with them, watch a movie together, hug them, hold them when they are terrified, what else matters? It doesn’t stop you from catching butterflies or playing tag in the backyard.
Let people be.
What is so hard about that?
So there. There was my rant and there was my soap box. It probably doesn’t make much since and when I try to be clever, it doesn’t always work. I just can’t stand it.
Filed under: Regular
I think the idea of monsters that we find in old cult films like Godzilla or in fairy tales like Little Red Riding Hood or in myths like the Minotaur trapped in the Labyrinth, have direly changed.
Monsters are us now. Monsters are human. They are the bad guys with the guns and the knives just waiting around every dark corner of the street just waiting for me as I walk home at night from job.
I am not afraid of the thing that I was so sure lived under my bed when I was six. I am afraid of what person lurks in the night hunting for me or someone I love. What if that thing under my bed was protecting me from the other bad stuff?
If we dissect the original monsters we know of, they truly are terribly scary creatures because they have been so harmed by their circumstances or by man. The Frankenstein monster was a creature created to find itself cast out by its only idea of a family and left to be hated and unloved. His story is of abandonment and how it can shape a person, it is the story of responsibility for your creations. He was an intelligent creature who no matter what was still feared because of his looks and his origin.
What is the meaning behind a rapist? Or a serial killer?
I prefer not to think of those things. I prefer the monsters from the stories, the creatures who are cast out from society, who represent something we are all deeply pained by at some point our life (Rejection, jeaolousy, etc.). I prefer the silliness of Count Chocula and the Cookie Monster. Monsters are creatures who are who they are and stand bold because of it. Big Bird is a monster but he’s a good one (I mean come on, your gonna tell me Big Bird didn’t get hit with some funny rays to get that big?). I like the good monsters, the ones you don’t always understand and thats is what makes them beautiful. The ones that shake up the way we see things, turnt he picture around and let us see it from a different angle. Monsters are people who don’t feel ugly because everything is beautiful.
Maybe thats a really silly way to think and maybe I think too much or too hard ont hese things. But we’re put on this Earth for something and we still haven’t quite nailed down answer as to what that is yet, so might as well fuck about a bit until we do.
So thanks to a really good person (he’s also smart and charming and has really deep soulful blue eyes that I could stare into for—I’m sorry what were talking about?) I’ve figured out a sort of focus of this blog, sorta. Welcome to the Monster Moment! (Name subject to change when I can think of a better title…suggestions are welcome!) The point of this website is completely selfish, its all bout me, and I wanna feature things that are weird and people who are off kilter and all amazing for it. And I hope in some way you can see the beauty in those things like I do and maybe you can show me the beauty in that I might have missed.
Other new segment:
Reading This Fucking Comic Book, because I know how much people want to read about my opinion on comics.
I’m very excited ;-}
I’ve decided I want to create a sort mascot for my page and I want it to my muse. So I need to narrow down a name for my alter ego. And I hope to do that with your help! And while you’re at, why not let me know your awesome alter ego’s name?
Filed under: Real Life | Tags: cat circus ringleader, comic book creator, real life, the future, too many choices for a career, when I grow up, which way?
I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
No that isn’t true.
I have a million things I want to be when I grow up…
1. Writer
2. Clothing Designer
3. Painter
4. Comic Book Creator
5. Editor
6. Comedian
7. Craft project master
8. Politician
9. Teacher
10. Cat Circus Ringleader and Owner (it would be science fiction themed)
11. Animal Activist
12. People Activist
13. 24 hour Coffee shop and laundromat owner
14. Vegetarian (I just have to give up Chicken, I’m almost there. I have to stop giving in)
15. A puppeteer
16. Drag queen clothing designer.
It goes on forever. And I feel like there is too much. I don’t know where to start first. I have my whole life ahead of me and it still doesn’t seem like enough time. I don’t fear Death, I just wish it would make an appointment so I can get everything done before she shows up. Like cleaning my bedroom to begin with.
I’m at a very awkward point in my life and I thought being a teenager had been tough. I’m stuck int he middle and it doesn’t make me sad, I just find it incredibly irksome. I’m almost done with college, so close I want to steal my diploma and I’ll most likely be able to finish it next year. That is, if everything works out, which sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. It hasn’t gone so well with school, college, I mean, but I’ve had a lot of awesome people helping me and cheering me. I think of them and I just get so empowered and I just want to show them how much it means to me and finally freaking graduate.
I think I went about College in the wrong way. I didn’t necessarily picka career I knew whole heartedly I was going to get paid to do. I picked some that I was interested in and wanted to learn more about and become better at. I think I did that wrong. However, I don’t regret it. Frankly I’d rather go to school for something I know I am going to do for the rest of my life than for a career (knowing myself) I would get bored with at 30. And that might be wrong but I’m happy with it. I’m so happy with it, I don’t care that I’m poor. Maybe I would think differently if I had kids but I don’t. I only need to worry about my own mouth to feed.
I always feel like time is slipping away from me and I just haven’t done enough yet. I’m still really young but time goes too quickly. Its there one second and then already a year has gone by. Where do I begin?
I have a lot of fears in this world. Such as…
1. Being left alone in small room with a pony and/or horse.
2. Naked clowns.
3. Silence
4. Being buried alive
5. Some else having say over my body and what I do with it
6. Sharks.
7. Sleeping through the end of the world
But none of those seem to compare to time and just not having a enough of it. There is so much to do and so little time. I just don’t ever want to waste a second.
Where do I begin?
Filed under: Musings, Real Life, Regular | Tags: alice in wonderland, definite decision, Forever is a very long time, getting a tattoo, Inked, little mermaid, Mermaid, shits and giggles, tattoo artist, Tattoos
I often get asked why I get tattoos or why I get so many tattoos.
Simple. I am not afraid of forever. Because I know I will not live here forever. We are here and gone in such a blink of an eye, why be so terrified of such a definite decision? I am not afraid of any decision I do now because I believe in myself. I know when I make a decision I have worked out what works for me. Because who knows me better than me? NO ONE and I will never hear otherwise.
I will never allow myself to have regrets. If I did not speak when I should have, I will not allow that to pull me back. I will learn from my mistakes. So there will never be a tattoo I will regret because everyone was an important choice I made that I thought through that I loved in that moment. Its a timeline on my arm that I’m not terrified of people seeing.
And you know why I will never ever regret a single tattoo? Because every single one has a meaning. I will not be getting a tattoo of raggedy ass unicorn just for shits and giggles one night on a whim. Every tattoo will be a reflection of myself, whether it be a pinpoint of where I am right at that moment or where I hope to be a billion years from now. And you know what, that tattoo that represents me a million years from now might just be raggedy ass unicorn. And it will be fucking majestic. Because it is mine.
Currently, I am working on a full sleeve on my right arm. My tattoo artist is my father and we’ve gone with a fairy tale theme to represent important people in my life. So far I have Little Red Riding Hood, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and my newest the Little Mermaid. Its sort of a story itself, getting my tattoos done by my dad, they mean a lot more and I’m really proud of his work. And I am proud that I get to show off his art.
I get tattoos not just because I want to look like a bad ass (because I look that way without them). I get them because of their history. I remember reading about how in China, one would get tattoos to expel demons and evil spirits. In other cultures tattoos represent title and journey. I get tattoos because of my history and my culture and the story I want to tell others just by a glance.
I am often asked if it hurts. Others who get tattoos will say it doesn’t hurt, while others will talk about how much they cried. I’m a mix, sometimes tattoos hurt more than others, emotionally and physically. Other tattoos I was able to listen to Lady Gaga and go dancing after.
I wonder if I get asked so much because people are curious whether I like the pain or not, maybe I have some needle fetish. I don’t. I still need two nurses to hold me down to get blood drawn and I still cry like a big baby. And I don’t enjoy pain but I know how to endure it and it doesn’t scare me like it use to. I understand what pain is and I know what it isn’t. It is not a tool for me to feel something or to spark some deep emotional revelation. However, pain is something to learn from because you will instantly forget how much something hurt (you’ll remember that it did hurt, but that feeling will be gone, erased from you by your own mind). So its good to know what you learned from that.
I like to say if I can say yes to something on me forever, I can stand being with a person forever. That I can like myself forever. I am stuck with this body for a very longtime or it just might be a very short time. But this body is only a reflection of me. Its like a pretty okay book cover for a really awesome story that just isn’t finished quite yet. Its a work in progress. And thats what we all are. So I’m going to have some fun with my cover and make myself a bestseller (that sounded slightly dirty).
Even if tattoos aren’t your thing, they are not a bad thing. Don’t hate. And I get tattoos because I fucking want to. And I’m not hurting anyone else by getting them. Well I guess no one else except for myself but I know me best and I know I can take it.
This is sort of sloppy, I apologize (currently on vacation!)
Filed under: Nerd Alert, Regular | Tags: AWKWARD, Costume, Cowardly dancer, I would make an awkward cat, Jacques Brel, Le Lion, Lion Dance
So yeah.
Thanks again for
1000+ views.
It really means a lot to me.
Will I regret this? Well…
Ps. Is it weird I like to where the lion costume when I play Skyrim?
Filed under: Crochet, Real Life | Tags: grandma, gryffindor scarf, lightning effects, lion dance video, new stitches, procrastination, scarves, sewing machine, sewing projects, slytherin scarf, starcraft 2
Okay, okay, so the lion dance video is coming. I promise. I’m almost done editing. I just really need to get the lightning effects down. But seriously it is almost done. It just took a lot of procrastination to actually get it shot.
However, I’ve been out of sorts because I promised myself I wouldn’t post here until that video was done. That si only fair right?
Well fuck it.
I really want to write so I’m going to and the video is halfway done so its not like I’m breaking a promise. Not to mention that none of you even knew about the promise until I just mentioned it now. So there. Take that and cash it at the bank.
Now I kind of don’t know what to talk about…
I MADE SCARVES.
Yes, I have made lots of scarves. I’ve been on a crocheting kick like a Grandma ghost has been possessing me.
Here are some of those projects….
Ashly modeling her new Gryffindor scarf
Paul modeling my Slytherin Scarf
Oh and here is me dressed a lion for Halloween
I think my sewing machine may have been broken in my move to my new place but I’m not so sure yet, I have to give it a good once over. Something might have just fallen out of place. So all sewing projects are currently being done by hand and that takes much longer.
Also, I’m designing a scarf inspired by the Zerg species from Starcraft 2. I like it because I’m trying out a bunch of new stitches…and they are not coming out too terrible either!
Well anyway…
This should have been better.
Filed under: Real Life | Tags: adult, appearance, cat gifs, good dance songs, lion costume, panic, white girl moves
Its pretty hard to get me to blush.
And looks like you all will be seeing it very soon.
I’m actually pretty excited to put on my lion costume and dance in front of a camera.
Thanks to everyone I hit over a 1,000 views! WHOO! It also beat my record of most visit in one day, 50!
Can I get some suggestions on some good dance songs?
So watch these cat gifs while I shoot for my big appearance.
Filed under: Real Life, Sewing | Tags: Anal, awkward cats, coy smile, cupcake hair, Fantomex, Fantomex is stupid, hair dye, hello kitty debit card, over-analytical, pink hair
Sometimes I think I’m getting insulted and I don’t really realize it. I don’t know if it is the natural “Oh I forgot to give a fuck what your opinion is” that the east coast injects into your blood stream upon birthage. Or if if I am just not being insulted and am just finding how people say certain things, slightly insulting. Meaning maybe I’m just too damn analytical.
Here is the most recent situation that comes to mind first….
I was dying pink hair dye one day at this punky-sort-of-too-cool-for-you-shop (but the only shop that carries this awesome hair dye and I’m stickler for not paying shipping). I have my hair dye in hand as I wait at the counter and a girl come over with red and black hair. She rings me up and reads the color name, “Cupcake Pink, huh?” I shrugged with an awkward smile, “Yeah I decided to be a bit girly and get pink, I guess. Haven’t done pink yet.” She nods her head. I lift my fading bangs and say, “I did blue green before but it faded to this super gross green color with my blond hair so I thought pink would be a safe bet because it has a nice fade.” She nodded as she punched the numbers in and said, “Yeah I would never do green because I wouldn’t want my hair to ever look like shit.”
I paused for a moment and assessed that sentence. She just basically told me my hair looked like shit without really saying that. I arched an eyebrow and handed over my Hello Kitty Debit Card (yes, I’m twenty-two years old and fucking love Hello Kitty). She looked at my card, looked at me, and looked at my hair dye and said, “You know, everyone who has this card gets this color. Not surprising.” Now she also said this with a dead flat tone. Not like a coy smile and joking nudge nudge. If she said it like that I would have laughed and probably agreed. Instead I looked at her even more confused wondering why for some reason she felt I had to lift her expectations of people who dye their hair pink and the mild connection it might have to hello kitty. I’m just here to buy some fucking hair dye lady, not to entertain you.
She bags my item and says, “I would use this color, just to tell people it was called cupcake. But I would never dye my hair pink, too bad.” I stood there for a moment with the item in my hand still not sure if I was just blatantly being insulted or if this person was just completely unschooled in the idea of how to rule the awful world of retail.
I put it in my head like this. If someone was buying a Fantomex comic and was like, “I really like fantomex.” I wouldn’t be like, “Yeah, I would buy a Fantomex book to tell people I have but I would never actually read the thing.” And then when I see he or she has a picture of Grant Morrison on their Capital One credit card (I just learned there is a way to customize those things) I would look at it with a flat face and say, “Huh, everyone who has this card buys a Fantomex comic. Not Surprising.”
All right, maybe comics isn’t a good example but that is for the most part my retail experience….there was a small run for a little while were I sold sex toys but I think that would make for an awkward analogy (Did you ever realize that word had anal in it? I didn’t until I put those two scenarios together!).
None of that really has to do with the point but I’m just curious, was this just her not having easily to interpret social skills or was I just snubbed by a chick that works in a shop that smells like leather and hotdogs? I can never freaking tell! I guess I just always hope the best out of people, like maybe I have completely wrong. I always question my gut (unless its about food, never question your gut when it is about food).
And the fact that she might of insulted me doesn’t bother me, its the fact, that I’m not sure. I still dyed my hair pink and have kept it pink and plan to keep it pink, her possible mockage of this has not deterred me in anyway (however, it has pushed me to seek my dye through the internet). I could have it completely wrong though, she could just have been sick that day and laughter and tone may have been lost to cold medicine and here I am questioning her skills as a co-worker in the funhouse called retail. She could be the most sunshiny person on the days she isn’t slinging mucous. I just wish I could look to my left and Regis Philbin will be there with his Who Wants To Be a Millionaire desk and then that times up music plays suddenly and either “A) You’ve been Insulted” or “B) You’re looking too much into it” flashes as the correct answer.
It really doesn’t matter, alls well that ends awkwardly, I guess.
In other news, my next big project after I’m done making x-mus presents, is….
Drum roll…..
Snuggle Soft Winter War Helmets!
Possible designs included:
Filed under: Nerd Alert, Regular | Tags: 2011 Pilot, Amazons, Dudemar in Distress, I just ate a cookie, Nerd Alert, RAGE, Sociopath, who reads this junk?, Wonder Woman
I like Wonder Woman. So all you haters can take a short walk off where the sidewalk ends because baby there is no debating for me, Wonder Woman is awesome.
Wonder Woman is awesome but she is a character hard to write for. And I’m never quite sure why.
Lets break her down…
(Let it be known, I did not major in Wonder Woman History in College.)
Reasons why Wonder Woman is an awesome character:
- She is a fucking AMAZON. Have you read about those ladies? Let me break it down for you, hardcore female warriors. The only thing these ladies wanted to do was fight and drink. Not the kind of ladies that want to listen to Lisa Loeb and braid flowers into each others hair. You know what Amazons do? Listen to hardcore and fucking punch each other in the face and laugh their asses off about it. These ladies use to cut off one of their boobs to be better at archery, you don’t get more hardcore warrior than that. That’s like cutting off one of your fingers and jabbing a knitting needle into so you are better at knitting.
And boy were they manizers (the opposite of womanizers)! Quote from Greeka.com:
“However, to carry on their race, they would very often mate with men from nearby societies or with handsome prisoners of war. Once their purpose was fulfilled, the prisoners would be used as slaves or killed. A male offspring suffered a fate akin to his father. If a boy was born, their mothers would kill him or sent him away. Sometimes he was kept alive to grow up and be used for sexual pleasure or as a provider of human seed.”
While I do not condone slavery in anyway, that is pretty nuts.
- Wonder Woman is in the top three. You can’t have the Justice League without Wonder Woman. (even though technically she started out as their Secretary…*cough* We’ll just ignore that *cough*)
- She fought Nazis. That lady was like, hey Amazons there is this whole thing going on called WW II and this guy Hitler is super lame. I’m gonna go punch some Nazis in the nuts and teach them about Love.
- She was created by a dude who fully believed that women were better than men. That’s putting it into simple terms but shit, that’s cool. (I bet Eve would even high five over that.)
- Wonder Woman was always saving Steve Trevor’s butt. I recently purchased the Wonder Woman series from 1975. And seriously, every episode was about saving Steve’s butt because he landed behind enemy lines or was kidnapped or something. Can anyone say Dudemar in Distress? (For more information on what Dudemar means, visit here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dudemar. THE MORE YOU KNOW!)
Possible Reasons Why It Is Hard To Write Wonder Woman:
- Wonder Woman, like Thor, is based on mythology. And sometimes it is a hard genre to sell. Comic Book readers don’t always want to read about ancient Gods getting punched int he face and these type of characters are hard to transition into the “Real World”. Because it would look pretty fishy if some flying snake God was crashing into the Sears (sorry, Willis) Tower every week. And making these character more urbanized or “real world” is also hard to do because how do you not make them seem super lame?
- She’s a woman. And a there are quite a lot of male writers in comic books, some who are not very good at writing for a female or writing in a female’s voice.
- This goes along with the first one but she started out by fighting Nazis. Captain America is still fighting Nazis a good amount of the time but Wonder Woman doesn’t have anymore to fight. So how do you transition a mythology-based character who fought in WWII to now?
All of these things are easily fixed and every nerd knows they can write an awesome story for their favorite character but I am just offering up possible reasons why.
So without further to do here is my written reaction Wonder Woman 2011 Series Pilot….(Its a doozy folks, I should have just recorded myself….)
******
The first scene opens up to a young man running home with a letter and he is super excited! His family begs him to open the letter. He finds out that he was accepted to his choice University and during the hug parade he begins to start crying blood. Which isn’t really cool, you think it would be, but it wasn’t. (I conclude there should have been more blood).
Then the scene shifts to a bald bad guy running down the star strip with Wonder Woman on his trail.
Okay so Wonder Woman’s outfit isn’t terrible. I actually prefer the denim blue pants they gave her over the black ones she had in the comics for a short amount of time. Except they should have ditched the shiny lame bustier they chose. It hardly matches the matte denim pants–god damn it, now I sound like a girl. Oh wait—
– Oh my god, did she just rope that guy around his neck? Well he is a bad guy but she could have easily snapped his neck. Oh and she just injected him with some strange green liquid junk, oh the mysteries! (This green liquid is never explained, she mentions a blood sample later on but no blood is ever taken int his scene….so……moving on….)
Oh and Wonder Woman is fighting with the police verbally saying if she give sup the perp he’ll lawyer up. First of all, kind of rude, second of all–why would you chase him out into public then? You kind of seem very stupid so far. Then she just slides his body over the police, by his head (again, with her strength she could easily snap his neck).
So far, Wonder Woman seems reckless, childish, but can still control her strength. These either show that she is a passionate person who will not stand for injustice or…a brat? Her walking away format eh crime seen with an angry pout leads me to believe the second of the choices.
As the show continues we hear debate about how Wonder Woman is unlawful. How she enters places without warrant and taps buildings? Even Dr. Phil argues that she has anger issues, while another debater says that she is smart and uses the costume to get the public to like her, as a marketing tool. Okay so they are going for a more modern Wonder Woman a mix between Superman and Batman but nix the ability to fly. She’s got money and strength. And two executive babysitters for her and her company.
And then they bring in her soft side, Diana Prince instead of Diana Themyscara. Her wish to have a slice of real life, with real friends and real experiences. And her two executives are more like parents that people running a company. I suppose this is to prove how young she is which would account for the recklessness.
So Diana Prince heads home to her modestly sized apartment to her cat Sylvester and she decides to build her Facebook page. Then she sees the notebook on TV and like anyone with a vagina she immediately reminisces of her first love. Which is cool because its our man Steve Trevor and Diana is breaking up with him to move to LA to be a superhero. Okay…well that doesn’t make sense. Why LA? Is that some big secret? Some way to make the budget cheaper? Because all he teenage girls are into LA right now? Is this some secret that will be revealed later?
Her answer: “She can do good in this world.”
Then it shoot to her next day int he office where dresses like she’s almost forty and is even given sort of mom hair. I did like how she was much taller than everyone else. She is confronted by the mother of the young man who had a reaction to the illegal drugs in the first scene. Diana takes her to her office and attempts to be warm and comforting. She does this by sitting behind her desk with her legs folded and attempting sympathy in her tone as the woman talks about her son now being conscious. I’m starting to believe more and more that this Wonder Woman might be a sociopath…or just bad acting…
TO read more about Sociopaths go here: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Okay so the Mother says that she wishes Wonder Woman had killed the bald bay guy who was running. Wonder Woman is stone faced to this and the mother admits it is a cold thing to say. We need to remember this scene, this will mark Wonder Woman’s code as a superhero: does she kill or not? Diana says, “Go home, go take care of your others kid and leave the vengeance to me. I’m kind of good at it.” Okay so that doesn’t really state if she kills or not. She also says the last sentence with a weird coy smile…which keeps making me look at the list of signs that someone is a sociopath.
So Diana decides to announce who the ultimate baddy is, the lady at the top of the drug food chain. She explains how all of the dead victims are, “From Ghettos by the way.” Which is a very weird way to put it. Like hey Wonder Woman, you got a multi-million (or more likely billion dollar company) and you can’t get a speech writer? And she address the camera, speaking to the enemy who is sulking in her lavish dark office (my god, why don’t you just give the bad guy a fluffy cat to pet, this is getting cliche enough) and says, “Trust me, if the law doesn’t get you, I will.”
Alright, I got super bored at this point so I watched a few episodes of Adventure Time and then went back to this.
Back to the show, here is a quick summary because I got sick of trying to narrate what was happening…
- Diana gets mad because her action figures boobs are too big. She throws a tantrum. Her daddy exec-babysitter tells her the doll sells better with big boobs so she relents.
- She tortures a guy in hospital for information. TORTURES A GUY. Why would she torture someone when she a lasso that makes people tell the truth? She even says the lasso does that. Unless it was some weird sarcastic joke she was making.
- She is investigated by the government and its turn out it is Steve who is investigating her. Because they banged once or a lot, he lets her go and frees her of all charges. He is also getting married, cue drama bomb. That’ll send wonder back into the arms of her couch to sob over The Notebook again.
- She talks to some stupid government official who is southern and in cahoots without he evil lady.
- Diana is not good at being patient for a warrant. Turns out kid from first scene died in the hospital and now she is super pissed.
- Wonder Woman goes after big baddy lady. She kicks in the door of this warehouse and just starts killing everyone. KILLING EVERYONE. Even the security guard who was just doing his job, he wasn’t even one of the big roid-raging bad guys. He was just do his 9 to 5 job, shooting at her because she just killed all those dudes and she tossed a pipe through his throat like its a fucking ninja star.
I paused here.
What the fuck. She’s just like killing all these dudes. And granted, they are trying to kill her…but what the hell yo? She tortures some dude in a hospital and now she is killing everyone.
I guess this is an attempt to make her “more bad ass”, they even had the cliche “bad ass” music playing in the background while she does this. However. Batman doesn’t kill and he’s still super bad ass. Was this their attempt to set her apart from Superman and Batman? Or did they want to tap into her more Amazonian ancestry they have not brought up at any single point in this show?
And then when the big baddy lady points out how she has killed a whole bunch of guys and has it on tape she says, “You’re about to meet your equal, the American Justice system.” And Wonder Woman just smirks and choke holds the lady.
I think there is a happy ending but I don’t really continue to watch. I kind of just go sit in a dark corner, drink straight from a bottle Jameson mumbling nonsense and holding myself.
My conclusion: Wow, I didn’t know it was so hard to write a bad ass female lead character without having her be a sociopath. That line is apparently so freaking thin, amiright?
******
So there you have it. My thoughts while watching that terrible pilot. In good news, I’m highly enjoying the new Wonder Woman series written by Brian Azzarello. You should read it, Wonder Woman is a bad ass in it. Pick it up at your local Challengers Comics or I guess any other shop is cool too (but Challengers is better).
